All those young men and women who have been bemoaning their lack of English knowledge, now take heart ; it is a blessing. You are safe from abduction by Kim Jong-un, the strongman of North Korea.
All those young men and women who have been bemoaning their lack of English knowledge, now take heart ; it is a blessing. You are safe from abduction by Kim Jong-un, the strongman of North Korea.
The North Korean operatives kidnapped David Sneddon, a British English teacher in 2004 as their boss wished to learn English. They didn’t bother that there were better ways to acquire an English teacher; of course they always do things their own way. It was not for them to appoint an English teacher who would later boast that he had taught English to Kim Jong -un which is a disgrace to the strong man who wants his people to believe that there is nothing under the sun that he does not know. He wants the world to believe that he is as strong in English as any American President. Abduction is the only way left to him to keep the myth that he is a master of the English language too.
Kim Jong-un pays his teachers generously which includes a lot of tempting perks. Let the prospective young men and women who wish to teach English to Kim Jong –un take cheer that Comrade Kim would provide them with a wife and children, with a house to accommodate them. You need not remind me that the children would appear automatically once you are provided with a wife.
For twelve long years David had been leading a quiet, presumably happy life, with his Korean family. The only sore point was that he should not boast that he knew more English than Kim Jong-un who was known to be ruthless in dealing with his enemies which includes his detractors.
The coaching centers for Spoken English in Chennai and other major cities are now boasting that their Centers would arrange their students to be kidnapped by North Korean operatives immediately after passing out, and these Centers have hiked their fees. They justify the fee hike on the ground that the kidnapped students are paid a good salary with perks - a wife and children by Comrade Kim.
Comrade Kim knows that he is pitted against a powerful enemy that is the US, and he does not want to take any chances. He wants his aides and comrades equipped with a good knowledge of English so they could follow the moves of the American government. Some sources, far away from Kim and absolutely unsure of their anonymity say that Comrade Kim plans to kidnap English teachers from UK and India. He knows Indians are good in English, better than the British scholars themselves. He needs a good number of English teachers because he has ordained that all his aides and assistants, including the state officials should be conversant with English ; there was a fear that Comrade was contemplating a few beheadings if some of them do not learn English before a stipulated period. So large scale recruitment, sorry kidnappings, might start any time, and the coaching centers in India are working overtime to train English teachers.
When you are getting ready to be kidnapped, there are a few tips which you should keep in mind: 1. You should have a real good knowledge of English. 2. You should write British English. 3. If you write colour as color, you may lose your head, I mean your physical head. 4. You must acknowledge that Kim Jong un is more powerful than Donald Trump. 5. North Korea would win in any nuclear confrontation with the US. 6. You don’t reveal you have been teaching English to North Korean officials; you may do so at the risk of losing your head. 7. Even to your North Korean wife ( wait, you will get one) don’t comment on the funny haircut of the leaders.
Wish you a happy life in North Korea. However a word of caution: when you are teaching English, see that you don’t doze off when Kim is doing the grammar exercises you have set for him. You may be beheaded, as his vice premier was beheaded sometime back for dozing off during one of the cabinet meetings.