Mahatma Gandhi and his secretary Mahadev Desai were plodding along a narrow street in the city on a hot day
Mahatma Gandhi and his secretary Mahadev Desai were plodding along a narrow street in the city on a hot day. Gandhi walked with difficulty, perspiring profusely in the midday sun and Desai was equally tired. They saw a long bench under a neem tree and sat down with relief, fanning themselves with the newspaper they had in hand.
There was an ochre-painted decrepit British era police station on the other side of the road. Kabali, a petty criminal, had been hanging around the police station from the morning trying to borrow some money from the constable who was friendly towards him. Kabali was in need of cash ; he had not been successful in his stealthy activities for the past couple of days. Men with bulging purses seemed to exercise extra care in the town buses, and rich women with thick gold chains around their necks seemed to guard them with unusual diligence ; his attempts to divert their attention had not been successful.
Looking at the old men under the neem tree, he wondered if he could use them for an evening peg at the nearby TASMAC and later a sumptuous dinner at his favourite non veg. restaurant. He noticed that one of them, Gandhi, was taking out an old fashioned watch from his waist and noting the time.
He approached them and asked for time. When Gandhi took out the watch again, Kabali snatched it from him and emitted a harsh smile at him.
"I need it more than you" Kabali said grandly.
"This is wrong" Desai said. "This is not British India, and now we have rules and regulations; you will be punished for this wrong doing."
"Go to hell, old buddy" Kabali said cheerfully.
"I will report you to the police" Desai said.
"Go ahead, buddy." Kabali said. "See there is a constable coming. You can report to him."
"Kabali, what are you doing here?" the constable asked him.
"This man has snatched Bapu’s watch" Desai told him. "Arrest him, Officer."
The constable looked at the old men for a while. "You look like homeless stragglers. Where do you live? Come and make a complaint. Then I will take action." he said.
"But the thief is here. Catch him."
"I can’t arrest him if there is no complaint."
"I will make a complaint, but don’t allow him to run away."
"He won’t run away" the constable said. "He is a friend of the police."
They reached the police station and Desai wrote the complaint while Mahatma sat morosely.
The constable read the complaint and looked up in surprise
"You are Mahatma Gandhi? What are you doing here?" he said.
"Bapu loves his watch. Take it from the thief and give it back to him" Desai said.
Kabali guffawed. "He can’t be the Mahatma. He is an impersonator. He has stolen the watch from the real Mahatma."
"Kabali may be right," the constable said thoughtfully, raising his eyebrows "Prove that the watch belongs to you."
"What do we do for that?" Desai said.
"Do you have the receipt for buying the watch? No?" He turned to Gandhi and said, " Then prove you are Mahatma Gandhi. Then we will accept that the watch belongs to you."
"Bapu, we can in no way prove it. There are no official records for that" Desai said.
"Go over and sit on the bench" the constable told them and turned to Kabali. "You have not made the regular monthly payments to the station, Kabali. You have defaulted for the past three months. The DSP thinks that I have pocketed the amount."
"Business has been dull, Sir" Kabali said. "There is however a good prospect. I have been watching a rich woman going on her morning walks wearing a thick gold chain. One of these days I will get it and make good the arrear payments."
"Keep your word, or we will book you on some case or other and shut you up in jail when your wife is pregnant."
Meanwhile a seedy looking character with bushy unkempt hair approached Gandhi. The police station seemed to be a refuge for strange characters.
"Look old man" he said. "Very easy to get a certificate to prove that you are Mahatma Gandhi. Pay me 100 rupees and I will get it in 30 minutes."
Gandhi was perplexed. He looked at Desai who shelled out a 100 rupee note from his pocket.
After nearly 30 minutes, the man brought a certificate signed by a local Tehsildar and sealed with the govt. logo. It stated that this was proof that the man was Mahatma Gandhi. Someone had attested it.
"How did you get it?" Desai asked him.
"It is none of your business. You get service for your payment."
"How can they issue a certificate without seeing me and verifying the facts?" Gandhi said.
"That is magic" the seedy character said." Do you want a ration card in your name? I will get it in a day for Rs.1000. You want a driving licence – of course you don’t -- I will get it in a day. But only against advance payment."
When the constable looked at the certificate, he cursed.
"Kabali, you have no choice. Give the chain back to Mahatma Gandhi."
Gnashing his teeth, Kabali handed the watch back to Gandhi. On their way out, the seedy character accosted them again. Smiling ingratiatingly he said, "Let us have a drink, old men. Behind the station, they are selling liquor cheaply. I will take you there."
Gandhi looked at his watch with tears in his eyes and threw it in a nearby dustbin.