Coimbatore, Dec 1
When Radha (name changed), a HIV+ woman lost her husband and daughter, her father was keen to get her remarried. He did not want her to live with two stigmas - being a widow, and being HIV+. That is when he approached an NGO working for people living with HIV/AIDS in Chennai. The NGO had a request from a HIV+ man who was looking for a “South Indian partner who could make idlis”. And, thus a match was made, and today, more than 15 years later, the couple have two school-going sons, both HIV negative.
Though this match was made directly, today there are several online matrimonial websites / portals that help connect HIV+ people. A few include, www.positivesaathi.com, www.hivshaadi.comwww.getmemarry.com, www.jeevansathi.com, in addition to the normal category has a classification ‘Special Cases’ under which there is a HIV positive section.
While on the one side there is still this stigma and resultant discrimination attached to HIV/AIDS, on the other it is a fact that not only those living with HIV/AIDS but also the general public have started embracing inclusivity. The above endeavour to strive to live a normal married life is slowly gaining momentum and is reflective of the fact that not only the affected but even society is aiding them in this process.
Every year on December 1 United Nations observes the ‘World AIDS Day’. The day is observed across the world in the manner it is designed to be, on the basis of a theme. The theme for 2017 is ‘My Health, My Right’.
The meaning of the theme as enshrined in www.unaids.org is “the right of everyone, including people living with and affected by HIV, to the prevention and treatment of ill health, to make decisions about one’s own health and to be treated with respect and dignity and without discrimination”.
Explaining the significance of the theme in India, Rochelle D’Souza Yepthomi, Manager, Psycho-Social Programme, Y.R. Gaitonde Centre for AIDS Research and Education (YRGCARE), Chennai, says “good health is everyone’s right. Government should enable access to better health and better treatment to those living with HIV. Also, it is vital for people, especially families to understand this. Only when the affected trusts his family to stand by him will he/she disclose the condition. Disclosure is the first and important step in the treatment”.
When a person does not disclose his condition, either because of being unaware of the infection or of fear of social stigma, then it progresses to AIDS. Thereafter it is a matter of time before he contracts multiple infections and ultimately dies.
But that is only the extreme stage, rather the fourth stage, as medical specialists say. With awareness, detection, and right and regular medication, there is no fear of AIDS.
And, that is what Y.R. Gaitonde Centre for AIDS Research and Education (YRGCARE) is trying to make people who visit their centre, understand, and helps people like Radha get a new lease of life.
Dr. Suniti Solomon, who documented the first case of HIV in India in 1986, started this centre in 1993. Today it not only provides services to the HIV+ but also has an international reputation for clinical, behavioural and epidemiological research in the field. After her passing away in 2015, it is being headed by her son Dr. Sunil Solomon.
Rochelle recollects how Dr. Suniti Solomon started the “match-making” and how this went on to give hope to those living with HIV. Her work in this area has been made into a documentary titled “Lovesick” that was premiered in New York, the U.S., on November 15. It narrates the story of two of her patients who got married.
The emphasis is on the importance of checking whether the viral load is below detectable rate and CD4 count is at acceptable levels. The counts of the would-be bride and groom are checked and matched. Once they are married, they are reviewed constantly and assisted for a planned conception to prevent the infecting of the unborn child.
Like Dr. Suniti Solomon tells in the documentary, “CD4 is our astrology”, most doctors today suggest prospective brides and grooms to check their viral loads and CD4 count rather than depend on horoscopes for the match.
This is the trailer of the documentary “Lovesick”, which is expected to be released in India soon.
Watch here: http://lovesickthefilm.com/trailer