In a country, where parents follow the custom of presenting dowry even in modern days to get their daughters married, one cannot help wondering why parents of girls alone are more anxious to give their daughters in marriage than the parents of the boys are.
In a country, where parents follow the custom of presenting dowry even in modern days to get their daughters married, one cannot help wondering why parents of girls alone are more anxious to give their daughters in marriage than the parents of the boys are. Moreover, it is girls who are led by the illusion that getting married earlier in life, begetting children and settling down in life as their ultimate goal. And this attitude among normal girls even today is nothing but the remnant of the practice of child marriage or Balya Vivaka ages ago.
A child of yesteryear Coimbatore was sure to have listened to its grandmother, who would simply narrate her tale of marriage that long ago she had been wedded to a 9 year old ‘man’ when she was a 7 year old ‘woman’ But, the woman, who lived a full life with her husband, begot children and breathed her last after attending even her grandson’s or granddaughter’s wedding, was fortunate enough to have been born in the world. However, just think of the little ‘widows’, who lost their little ‘husbands’ within a little period from their marriage.
In a state, while the woman, who lost her husband, is called a Kaimpen or Vidhavai, it is sad to note that Tamil language yet requires a word to mention a man, who lost his wife. And the absence of such a word itself is evident that man never needed to live the rest of his life being a widower. On the other hand, the existence of the word Kaimpen or Vidhavai indicates clearly that widowed girls were never allowed to remarry even in the system of child marriage.
With such a rigid custom being practised in Coimbatore too, there would have been numerous child widows, whose tales of woe would be painful to the present generation. And one such widow was yesteryear popular film actor Sivakumar’s aunt, whom he still remembers as ‘Milakaikara’ Periyamma, since she was a vendor of chillies in the shandies of Sulur and Palladam.
Like all other girls of those days, Sivakumar’s aunt too got married off at an age of 7 to a 9 year old boy Muthusamy. But, on a fateful day in the rainy month of Aypasi (October-November), the little bride became a widow after Muthusamy drowned in a well while playing with his friends. As the tragedy unfolded in the village, elders rushed to the spot and fished out Muthusamy’s body.
The 9 year old girl, who was unaware of her husband’s death, laughed and played with her friends even when she was clothed in a stiff white sari, typically worn by the widows of the then Kongu region.
And being a widow throughout her life, she died at the age of 90, deprived of her chances to feel what motherhood was.
A child of yesteryear Coimbatore was sure to have listened to its grandmother, who would simply narrate her tale of marriage that long ago she had been wedded to a 9 year old ‘man’ when she was a 7 year old ‘woman’ But, the woman, who lived a full life with her husband, begot children and breathed her last after attending even her grandson’s or granddaughter’s wedding, was fortunate enough to have been born in the world. However, just think of the little ‘widows’, who lost their little ‘husbands’ within a little period from their marriage.
In a state, while the woman, who lost her husband, is called a Kaimpen or Vidhavai, it is sad to note that Tamil language yet requires a word to mention a man, who lost his wife. And the absence of such a word itself is evident that man never needed to live the rest of his life being a widower. On the other hand, the existence of the word Kaimpen or Vidhavai indicates clearly that widowed girls were never allowed to remarry even in the system of child marriage.
With such a rigid custom being practised in Coimbatore too, there would have been numerous child widows, whose tales of woe would be painful to the present generation. And one such widow was yesteryear popular film actor Sivakumar’s aunt, whom he still remembers as ‘Milakaikara’ Periyamma, since she was a vendor of chillies in the shandies of Sulur and Palladam.
Like all other girls of those days, Sivakumar’s aunt too got married off at an age of 7 to a 9 year old boy Muthusamy. But, on a fateful day in the rainy month of Aypasi (October-November), the little bride became a widow after Muthusamy drowned in a well while playing with his friends. As the tragedy unfolded in the village, elders rushed to the spot and fished out Muthusamy’s body.
The 9 year old girl, who was unaware of her husband’s death, laughed and played with her friends even when she was clothed in a stiff white sari, typically worn by the widows of the then Kongu region.
And being a widow throughout her life, she died at the age of 90, deprived of her chances to feel what motherhood was.